For the first time in several weeks, I was able to dress. It felt so good.
I love my family but they're ALWAYS here. My wife really dislikes my dressing and my children don't know so it's very difficult to find time. Today, everyone was gone for a little while so I had a chance to dress.
I almost didn't. I knew I'd only have about 15 - 20 minutes and I'd have to dig my things out of the back of my closet and would it even be worth it for just a few minutes?. Once I did, I knew I had made the right decision. That great relaxed, comfortable feeling came over me and I just felt so good.
I've gained about 40 pounds during the last 30 years so I'm not as slender and semi-passable as I was in my 20s. However, my legs still look pretty good, especially when I'm wearing high heels. We have a full length mirror in our bedroom. It was fun to pose in front of the mirror (and if I kept focusing on my lower half, I looked ok).
It is a little frustrating. Getting dressed is very nice but I wanted to spend much more time as Linda. Of course, I would have liked to put on makeup and a wig and go out as Linda. It's been such a long time since I've been out. Still, it was great to have a little time. I missed it so much. I'm jealous of the girls who can dress several times a week.
Linda
ReplyDeleteI am pleased for you, though sorry that it was not a longer proper dressing time. I hope that it is not too long before you get out as Linda again. (I am also jealous of the girls who can dress often).
Louise
Linda,
ReplyDeleteI was in your shoes for over 20 years while the kids were growing up at home. I was married young and did not really understand my CD urges back in the old days prior to the internet. Over time my CD activities grew but my wife was never a fan. I think that one of her major concerns was whether the boys would find out that their father liked to wear dresses. The idea of a dad in a dress just did not sit well in our family setting.
Now that the boys are out of the house my ability to dress partially and on occasion completely has increased. Last week we had the boys home and some other company so I had to 'clear out' the closet. All my girl stuff was crammed into bags and hidden where no house guest could stumble across it.
I remember truly cherishing those 15-20 dressing events. They were wonderful and quite sanity restoring. I also pined for more dress up time any way I could get some but with a busy job (60-70 hours a week on top of a long commute) and a full time family life the dress up occasions were too few and far between. I did have some business travel along the way so I always had something packed.
I did the best I could under those circumstances and suggest you be grateful for those short times home along. Being a husband and father was and is a major component of my life and one that had and still does need to take precedence over dressing. In my view of things being all things about who I am as a husband, father, bread winner, etc are all good. Slipping into a dress, hose, heels, makeup, etc. is also a good and wonderful thing.
Best of luck
Pat.
Louise and Pat,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments.
Pat, I agree very much with your comment about having the opportunity to dress up occasionally can be "sanity restoring." Even a brief opportunity to dress is very satisfying, especially during stressful times.
I'm 57 with an 11 year old daughter (along with 23 year old twin sons) so it will be a long time before I'll have many opportunities to dress. I try to be grateful for those opportunities I do have but it's hard not to be envious of those who have more opportunities to dress (and especially of those who have wives who are more accepting).
I am a bit older and we just became empty nesters. While doing the full transformation is wonderful every little bit helps...10-20 minutes in a bra, dress and heels was always a good pick me up. Longer would be better but those little bits, along with underdressing, always work wonders for me.
ReplyDeletePat