Sunday, August 5, 2012

A little Linda time today

My family was out for a few hours today and I had the house to myself for the first time in months.

I took the opportunity to don my cute little lacy dress and gold sparkly platform pumps.  Felt so good to be dressed (it's probably been a few weeks but seems like forever).  I shaved my legs yesterday and they looked so cute in my dress and heels.

Now this is definitely not a daytime outfit but I don't know when I'll have a chance to wear it at night.  So, I put on a dark t-shirt and shorts over my dress, put my heels in a little bag and walked over to the car.  After a few blocks, I pulled over, took my t-shirt and shorts off and put my heels back on.  Heaven.

I drove around for a little while.  In this outfit and without makeup, there was no way I was going to go anywhere where people could really see me.  Still, I had an urge to get out of the car and go for a walk (partially because it's fun to walk outside and partially because I wanted to see how well I could walk in these 5 inch plus heels).

I found a deserted parking lot with large dark windows.  I got out and walked a bit.  I could see myself reflected in the windows and between the windows poor reflection and my own ability to self-delude, I thought I looked ok.  20 pounds lighter and some shapewear would have made things even better, but I still enjoyed myself.

Wish I could go out tonight in this outfit to one of the t-friendly places in the area (there are now 2 about 5 miles from my house).  Unfortunately, everyone will be back soon so I won't be going out.  It's been a while since I've been out with other girls.  I miss it.

By the way, I did ok with the heels.

7 comments:

  1. Pictures...why do we never see pictures?

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    1. Dani, thanks for stopping by.

      I really enjoy your blog and your pictures. I don't think I leave nearly enough comments telling you that.

      The no pictures thing is simple and complicated.

      The simple part is I get to spend so little time as Linda that I'm very rarely able to do a really good job dressing and almost never have time for makeup. I could take "headless shots" but I've never thought those looked very good.

      The complicated part is that I know I don't look that great. I'm not sure I was ever passable but when I was in my 20s, I was slender, a lot less hairy and just generally able to look more feminine. I was also much better with makeup. I took a few pictures then but threw them away during one of my periodic purges.

      The other complicated part is that I know the camera can be very unforgiving. I can look at myself in a mirror and see a woman wearing a nice outfit. However, when I use a camera the illusion is lost.

      For many reasons, I'm probably never going to be an out there girl. Even part time would be very difficult. But I do enjoy my time as Linda and my fantasies about looking ok. I'm jealous of the girls who look so good and very jealous of the beautiful women I know. I guess if I thought I'd looked better, I'd find a way to get around the time constraints involved with taking pictures (maybe not - those constraints are difficult and real), but I don't miss having pictures all that much.

      Of course, I really enjoy seeing other girls' pictures and am disappointed when they don't post pictures in their blogs. So, yep, on top of everything else, I'm inconsistent, too.

      I'm also kind of long winded - I think this reply has become longer than my original post.

      Dani, thanks again for your blog and your pictures. I really do enjoy them. And thanks for stopping by and posting your comment.

      Linda

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  2. First off: so sorry it took so long for me to follow your blog!

    Secondly, I know how you feel Linda. Glad you got some time to be yourself, even if only for a short while!

    And finally, for now, sounds like you rocked the outfit. I may have to hate you a little bit. ;)

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    1. Joanna, thanks so much for your lovely comment.

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  3. Linda,
    It is always nice to see a new post on your site and I am so glad that you were able to get out and about even a little bit. There is something so special about dressing and getting out and even if you could not go full out with make-up, etc. it is so affirming to be dressed and out of the house.

    Of late I have been able to get out a bit to some local LGBT bars. I feel accepted and if I violate the demographic it is more likely because of my age than my attire. My basic M.O. is to go home, eat, shower, change, go out, have one or not more than 2 drinks and get back home. My wife is away most of the summer so I have the opportunity for a while.

    I sometimes talk to the people while out. I do not pretend to be a woman which at my height and size and age is just not in the cards.

    I also agree with your comment on photos. I have never been a shutterbug and I do not even own a camara. Even my wife, who does have a camera, mostly uses the single use disposable box.

    I think that I look pretty good under the circumstances when I dress so I do not need the reality check of a high gloss picture.

    Good post and thank you for sharing.

    Pat

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  4. Hey dear I really like your blog! What about following each other on bloglovin and Google + ? ...just let me know :3 <3


    NEW POST!

    www.OntoMyWardrobe.com

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  5. Linda,

    I just encourage you more and more to be yourself and build your confidence to go out. Your experience in this post sounds very much like me about 20 years ago and as hard as it is to believe that you will one day be brave enough one day to be out and about among real women and even accepted as one, it does happen! kee working on your confidence and always remember that YOU are youw own worst enemy every time! be happy and feel good about you!

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