I have a rare opportunity for some Linda time today.
I'm wearing jeans, a really pretty sleeveless purple blouse with ruffles and red high heels. It's the kind of outfit a young woman in her 20s or 30s might wear if she were meeting friends for dinner or drinks. It's fun to see my red pumps peeking out from the hem of my jeans. I feel great.
I'm also feeling a little jealous because I know if people saw me, they would think I look ridiculous. I'm 60, I'm chubby, I don't have cute feminine features, and even if I shave closely and slather on the foundation, my 5 o'clock shadow comes out quickly. I'm wearing an outfit that a "mature" (dowdy) crossdresser of a certain age should not wear to blend in if she were leaving the house.
Of course, one of the consolations of being pretty much in the closet is that I can wear clothes that are wildly inappropriate for public adventures and pretend that the clothes I'm wearing are what I would be wearing if I were a 20something woman.
I admire those in our club who have come to terms with being mature ladies. Stana is a lovely mature woman, who dresses appropriately for her age and looks wonderful. She's beautiful and stylish. If I were a 60 year old woman (even if I were a 50 year old woman), I'd love to look like Stana.
But I don't want to look like a 60 year old woman. I want to be 26 and pretty and wear cute clothes.
So for now, I'll enjoy my time to dress cute and fantasize about what I would do if things were different.