Crabby

I know if I don't occasionally dress in something frilly, I get a little crabby.

I Wish I Had Been On This Team in High School

Acknowledgement to George Takei who posted this on Facebook.

Power, Confidence, and High-Heels

I loved the way this article from the Anthropology in Practice website started:

Cinderella got the prince and Dorothy was envied. Why? They donned fabulous shoes. What’s the deal with women’s relationship to their footwear?

Watch Me Walk Away

Click. Click. Click. Click.

With each measured step, my heels echoed with a finality that emphasized my leaving, which was important: I was angry and I wanted to be taken seriously. The sound of my three-inch heels striking the tiles spoke volumes—and did so much more eloquently than I would have been able to at the moment.

I had just had my first turn-on-your-heel-and-walk-away moment. A meeting with a senior vice president at a leading digital agency in New York City had gone horribly wrong: Her team had asked me to consult on a project they were considering, but within a few minutes it became clear that we would not be able to work together. She was rude to her staff and made two disparaging remarks about anthropologists. Annoyed, and believing that her behavior toward her staff spoke volumes about the sort of relationship we would have, I decided I had had enough. So I picked up my coat, turned on my heel, and walked out. It was empowering. It was a moment I’ll likely not forget soon. And it would not have been the same had I been wearing flats.
  
This part of the article reminds me of the kind of magic effect wearing a great pair of high heels can have.

The rest of the article is ok, a bit of a rehash of information many of us have read elsewhere, but I really like the opening.

Here's the link

Letting her down gently - link to Large Blooming Flower

Jenny had a terrific post recently at Large Blooming Flower. 

Jenny starts her post with 'A little while ago, I found myself in a tricky situation. I came out to someone in my social circle, and after the usual chat about what it all means, she revealed that her boyfriend used to crossdress. "But he's given it all up now we're together, I'd have left him otherwise".'

I really admire the brave and true way she talked with her friend about her boyfriend. 

I always enjoy Jenny's blog and found this post especially good.

Christian Louboutin on why his shoes are so popular with women

Christina Louboutin makes incredibly beautiful, incredibly expensive women's shoes.  I recently saw a selection of Louboutin shoes advertised where the least expensive pair was $595.  In any kind of a practical frame of mind, it seems silly, maybe wrong, to spend that much money on a pair of shoes.  However, just from a fantasy, fashion as art viewpoint, his shoes are gorgeous.  It doesn't hurt the fantasy that many of the women shown wearing Louboutins are stunning (and would be, even if they were wearing mukluks).

I just saw an article from the Daily Mail about Louboutin in which he explains why he thinks his shoes are so popular.  At one point, in the article The designer recounted a meeting with a French academic to The Sunday Times: 'She said that what is sexual in a high heel is the arch of the foot, because it is exactly the position of a woman's foot when she orgasms.'

I've heard this theory before.  It may have some validity but I don't think so.  I think it has more to do with the idea that no matter how thin, thick, old, young, confident, shy or whatever, a beautiful shoe looks beautiful and helps a woman feel beautiful.  You don't have to lose weight or have Botox to buy and wear beautiful shoes. 

High heels were the first items of female attire I wore.  There was something wonderful about seeing myself in heels, right from the start.  I still get a special feeling when I wear heels.

It's a silly but kind of a fun article.  Maybe Louboutin actually believes this stuff and maybe he's just having fun. 

I also enjoyed the reader comments.  Good way to bring the whole discussion back down to earth.  Some of my favorites:

"The designer recounted a meeting with a French academic to The Sunday Times: 'She said that what is sexual in a high heel is the arch of the foot, because it is exactly the position of a woman's foot when she orgasms." Christian, darling... she LIED!

My feet don't hurt when I have an orgasm

Thank God orgasms are free! Who can afford Louboutin's in this economy?!?

Cheryl Scott

In the spirit of the Femulate Her feature on Stana's blog,   here's a video of a photo session of Cheryl Scott, a TV (no, the other kind) meteorologist.  It's a fun shoot and the she looks terrific.  I'd love to look like this, if even for a day.

Cheryl Scott photographed by Andy Armstrong

Crossdressing and Marriage

Before my wife and I married 30 years ago, I decided it wasn't necessary to tell her about my crossdressing past because now that we were getting married, I wasn't going to want to crossdress any more and it was an unimportant detail.  I may have really believed that or I may have convinced myself that was true because I really wanted to be with my wife and knew she wouldn't react positively.

The need to crossdress came back, of course.  I eventually told my wife about my crossdressing (though in an indirect and not very honest way).  She was initially somewhat accepting.  I was thrilled and incredibly relieved.  However, I pushed things too quickly, dressed up too much and didn't think about her feelings enough.  For many reasons, my crossdressing became a problem in our marriage.

These days, I seldom crossdress (due mostly to lack of opportunity - I can count on one hand the number of times I've been alone in the house during the last six months).  We don't talk about my crossdressing but my wife knows I'm interested and knows I like to visit cd sites.  She also knows I would love to go out but she's very opposed to that.

I've lied to my wife about crossdressing.  I've lied when she's asked me if I've dressed while she was out.  I've also lied several times about going out.  My rationale is that it's a pretty minor thing and I don't want to get into a big fight about my wanting to crossdress.  It's a way of agreeing to disagree.

From her standpoint, because I've lied, she can't trust me.  If I try to see things from her point of view, I understand her point.  She feels that my lying about going out or dressing is worse than the actual crossdressing.

As with most families, we have a lot going on in our lives and many challenges.  I just don't want to add another fight by having to talk about crossdressing.  At this point, there are so many other issues involved with my crossdressing that it's become almost impossible to talk about crossdressing as an isolated issue.   If I thought there was a chance we could have a discussion that wasn't doomed to end in huge fight, I think we could try, but it never goes like that.  She keeps saying she wants to talk about it, but it's the same argument.  We both feel like we're giving as much as we can and can't understand why the other person can't bend a little bit.

I occasionally read about a crossdresser's wife who's genuinely supportive and understanding but I think that's very rare.  Even in very good situations, it seems that a wife will put up with crossdressing but try to avoid knowing much about her husband's crossdressing or seeing her husband en femme.

I think my situation is more typical. 

I realize I've caused many problem by not being honest.  At this point, I don't know that being honest going forward will really help.  Not talking about it defers fights but we'll probably have to deal with our issues at some point. 

I know my wife has a much lower opinion of me because of my lying.  I resent her because she doesn't seem willing to compromise.  I'm not sure what we're going to do but I'm not hopeful.